He's Just Not That Into You....Yes, You!

The only thing worse than being alone is being miserable with the wrong person.

Women often make excuses for the guys they are dating. He's busy, he's confused, he's heart broken, he's..he's...he's...All this may be true. However, if he was worth your time and if he thought you were worth his; none of these circumstances would matter. He would want you and you alone!

Do not, I repeat, do not try to force a square peg into a round hole. All you will end up with are blisters.

Even if you were 'successful', and I use that word lightly..what would you really end up with? A boyfriend that doesn't really want to be around you? A husband that resents being with you? To me that isn't success at all.

Solange does the big chop!!!!!!

And....................................I think it's cute! Why is it such a big deal when someone famous or even everyday black women sway from the chemically processed, white inspired hair styles?

She was born with hair similar to that on her head now...so why is it an outrage that she has reverted back to her natural self? I'm not sure what her reasons were for doing the big chop.
She could have decided to do it because of the fried, breaking hair under her weave, or because she wanted a drastic style change, or maybe it was because she decided that she should no longer succumb to the pressures that North America puts on women to look a certain way - even if they weren't born that way, money can buy almost anything, right?


Although I am not feeling the sunglasses, I think Solange looks beautiful with her new do. Even if this is just a phase for her, I think that it will be a great and empowering experience.







The comments floored me, you would think that society was improving..NOT:

http://www.tmz.com/2009/07/23/beyonces-sisters-hair-oh-knowles-she-didnt/



COMING SOON: My own natural hair journey, when I locate all the pics.

The Book Of Negroes By: Lawrence Hill

Lawrence Hill will bring you into a reality of ancestors. 'The Book Of Negroes' will answer some of your questions, but leave you with so many more. You won't be able to put it down, however you will not want the story to end. You may be left wanting to experience more of those who came before us. Left truly longing for home.


"I had my first bleeding during our long march. I tried to calm myself by thinking that I wouldn't live much longer, and that my humiliation wouldn't last long. Cramps shot through my belly. In my nakedness, it was impossible to hide the blood running down my legs."

Sometimes we forget that the individuals who were kidnapped from their homes experienced the same everyday things as anyone else would. Fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. People with morals, histories, and cultures. By de-humanizing the people they made into slaves, it created a situation where slavery was seen as acceptable. Seeing them as barbarians that needed to be 'christianized' seemed to be one of the weak justifications to enslave a people. A people who loved their families, a people who longed for a successful future, a people who did not anticipate the evil that existed in human beings.

"Beware of the man that makes wrong look right."


"I felt a cowrie in the sand, under my toes, and scooped it up before they yoked my neck again...I rinsed it in the water and put it on my tongue. It felt like a friend in my mouth, and comforted me. I sucked it fiercely, and wondered how many cowries I was worth."


"We, the survivors of the crossing, clung to the beast that had stolen us away. Not a soul among us wanted to be on that ship, but once out on open waters, we held on for dear life...those who were cut from the heaving animal sank quickly to their deaths, and we who remained attached wilted more slowly as poison festered in our bellies and bowels."

The very same vessel that took the lives of thousands of men, women, teenagers and babies; was the same vessel that they held on to for the very same thing that it threatened to take.

To live in bondage? To die Free?

Some ancestors came to grips with their fate. Rationalizing that they at least had food to eat and clothes to wear while being captive. But some ancestors would risk injury or even death to escape bondage...what made them so different? Why was one at peace with their fate and the other not?


Some of the individuals that were enslaved, and somehow became free; decided to go back home. Sometimes not even sure of where that was geographically. But would those back home accept them after so many years? Often, the answer was no. What about the displaced Africans all over the world right now?


Where is our home, and how do we get there?




__________________________________________________________________

*Please feel free to share your sentiments on the book if you have read it or history of the transatlantic slave trade in general*



The name of the novel is borrowed from a book that was used to collect the names, and proof of black loyalists when they were trying to prove that they had served the British in order to gain passage to Nova Scotia, but sometimes they also went to Quebec, England or Germany.

To see the virtual Book of Negroes exhibit, go here and beside the name search at the bottom, click the link to see the full virtual tour:

http://www.viewpoint.com/installer/index.html?05.00.02.29|frame&http://www.gov.ns.ca/nsarm/virtual/africanns/book.asp


Black Loyalists. Our history, our people:
http://epe.lac-bac.gc.ca/100/200/301/ic/can_digital_collections/blackloyalists/index.htm


The Author:
http://www.lawrencehill.com/

My Loc Journey

The Kink wasn't only in my hair.

Well..this has been a long time coming. My hair journey has been so much more than just about hair, it has been about self-love, self-hate, and self-discovery.

There were 2 things that I HATED about myself while growing up. #1: my nose...God had decided to give me a nose that would not allow me to deny my African ancestry..and I had planned to have a nose job as soon as I turned 18...surprisingly, I got over that. #2: My hair....I cannot put into words the disdain I had for my coarse, yet soft and troublesome mane..well not so much a mane because it was so short..but you get the drift?

My mother absolutely refused to let me chemically straighten my hair and she refused to give me the money to do it. I could not understand why she hated me so much that she wanted to cause me to be ridiculed by family, friends, and frenemies. For most people, that would put a damper on the dreams of having soft, flowing, silky hair. But, not I! At the age of 13, I started to babysit my cousins and also sell chocolate to save up to get a perm. I was ecstatic that my life long dream would come true! Soft flowing hair... yes! After having the smelly goop smeared on my head, experiencing a burning scalp for 20 minutes, the process was done..finally the promised land!..Ya, not so much. It really didn't look how I expected it to..it was kind of limp and just there..but to me, anything was better than what I had before.

After that summer I entered high school. I had numerous encounters with bad hair experiences. My hair pretty much broke off in all directions. I started thinking that this straight hair thing was not such a great idea for me. I thought my hair was too weak for this level of chemical. So, I grew out my hair, transitioning with braids, mostly micro braids, I loved the wet and wavy hair. I cut my the chemically straightened hair myself in my bathroom one evening..mostly out of frustration. I wore my fro maybe once or twice to school...but mostly, I was ashamed of my natural hair. After trying a few styles, I tried a 'natural' texturizer...I hated how it looked. I wish I was more confident to try funky styles with my natural hair...but, such is life. Eventually I started extensive online research about locs. I started my locs a few months before high school graduation, and it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. The experiences that this journey has allowed me, has been nothing short of life changing. I thank God everyday as the journey continues.

I am sad that I do not have any pics of my fro but at the time I was still trying to accept my natural hair and had issues with showing it much less taking pictures of it...I wish I had!!!!
I did not keep a strict chronology of my hair journey, so the pics are in the order they looked right in :)

A few months after starting my locs via braids in 2004
It's a picture of a picture ..sorry about the quality

My teeny weeny ponytail-front pinned up

My locs looking like a bob


Crimped...I killed this style

Loc Updo


This is about the time I had to start combining locs because they were too thin and the root bends had weak foundations.



I think this is 2006...I cut my hair so I would have bangs. I loved it but it didn't look right when it was in a ponytail, so I let it grow out. I'm pretty sure this pic was taken after the last one...not sure how I got the last hairstyle to look so full.



Chin Length..not sure what year this is.


Loc Bun!


I love to wrap my hair like this sometimes.



2008






It's getting long now..


2009


June 2009
Took a long break from latch hooking as you can see from the loose front.



August 4th 2009!
Basically shoulder length now. Experiencing a bit of difficulty with breakage at the hair line, especially at the back. I have taken a break from tightening them. I am also taking my iron supplement again as well as Silica gel and that seems to be helping tremendously. I am also combining locs again to create a larger root bend- as they get longer, there is a greater strain on the roots.







I ♥ MY LOCS!






"Remove the kinks from your brain and not from your hair" - Marcus Mosiah Garvey

The Journey Continues...

It's the most wonderful time of the year..!

Many of you may remember that business depot commercial - the one where the parents are happy to be sending the kids back to school and the kids are less than impressed...lol

But you know what? It is the most wonderful time of the year for those of us going back to school. Sometimes we forget that we are blessed to have the opportunity to attend school. Many, many children around the globe won't dare to even dream of such a luxury.

Especially for those of us pursuing further education, we have the opportunity to shape our destiny's. That is why it is the most wonderful time of the year . Because we have the choice to pursue the field in which we are talented, and therefore pursue the career that we desire. To me, being stuck doing something for life that you do not enjoy and isn't your passion, is torture. Do you really want to be stuck doing your summer job as a telemarketer (or the like) forever?

So, to those of us who are not looking forward to going back to school- keep your heads up! The short-term pain will definitely be worth it in the long run. I, myself will try to remember this when school starts to get rough.


We either shape our destiny through action or inaction- it's your choice!



PEACE & LOVE

♥ JEM ♥

I'm baaaack!

I know... I've been gone a LONG time. I have so much to share with you all and I am not even sure where to begin! So much has happened since I have last done an entry: I did a Masters degree, got married, started my own business, whew! But I think It's time I shared what is on my mind.